Hello to me,
I'm writing this as I don't know where else to vent this feelings. Today, on 19 August 2023, I ended my first serious relationship. My hearts hurts and I feel like crying.
He was my bestfriend, someone who I told everything, all my life problems. I always thought he was the one. Peoples fell in love and fell out of love all the time, I understand. I tried very much to stay calm and replying to one of his messages with a silly emoji. I don't want to look like an idiot in front of him.
It looks like I'm the one who think he still in love with me. How embrassing to admit that I miss him just for him to say he fell in love with another person. Then replying with a sentences that just confused me more.
I am lonely. I don't have many friends. I only have you to talk and gossip and vent things. I love talking with you since you understand me and always give a good advices. We could still be friends but how awkward is it for your ex to constantly chat you. I would only look like a desperate idiot.
I'm so angry at myself because I can't let you go. I want to cry and scream at you. I want to ask you, when you upload a story of stay by laroi song, is it for me or for the new person ? I'm an idiot, I want you to be honest and straightforward.
Because in my heart, I will forgive you the moment you say it was all a lie. Or you still want me you still love me.
I want to wish the best for you and that person but I can't.
