First heartbreak over my first serious relationship.

 Hello to me,

I'm writing this as I don't know where else to vent this feelings. Today, on 19 August 2023, I ended my first serious relationship. My hearts hurts and I feel like crying. 

He was my bestfriend, someone who I told everything, all my life problems. I always thought he was the one. Peoples fell in love and fell out of love all the time, I understand. I tried very much to stay calm and replying to one of his messages with a silly emoji. I don't want to look like an idiot in front of him.

It looks like I'm the one who think he still in love with me. How embrassing to admit that I miss him just for him to say he fell in love with another person. Then replying with a sentences that just confused me more. 

I am lonely. I don't have many friends. I only have you to talk and gossip and vent things. I love talking with you since you understand me and always give a good advices. We could still be friends but how awkward is it for your ex to constantly chat you. I would only look like a desperate idiot.

I'm so angry at myself because I can't let you go. I want to cry and scream at you. I want to ask you, when you upload a story of stay by laroi song, is it for me or for the new person ? I'm an idiot, I want you to be honest and straightforward. 

Because in my heart, I will forgive you the moment you say it was all a lie. Or you still want me you still love me.

I want to wish the best for you and that person but I can't.

Hey

A lot of things happened in my life. My dad passed away and I got busy with my university life. I really want to update my blog but with internet problem in my UiTM make me unabled to do anything.

My dad passed away almost a year and a half now. I don't really know if anyone read my blog but if you do, I'm sorry for disappearing.

Actually I kinda forgot that I have a blog hahahhahaha and don't really have any idea what to write. I might come back here or not. Anyways here my update for anyone i think.

Excited + Nervous

2 more days and I off to Uitm. I feel bad for my dad 'cause I want him to be there with me. I hope everything will be fine.

Things I bought recently + Stationary Haul

 First of all, I'm sorry if I have mistake on grammar or tenses as I'm not good at writing in english. I make a goal to write things in english so I could get better at it.

Products that I've been using

New products that I just bought a couple days ago.

Recently I really super into skincare routine. My skincare goals are to make sure my face free of pimples and acne scars. So I did bought a few new skincare products and I think it did work for me. Idk but I'm still using sooooo yeah. As you can see on the picture above, it is a drugstore products but all of them almost burn out my mom wallet. (sorry mom thanks for buying for me excluding a few items).

Personal Favourite Asmrtist

p/s : click title entry to read more >> 

(credit to depositphotos)

When I'm doing some work or just reading online novels, I like to listen to ASMR other than music. It make me feel relax and more focus on doing something. For those who does not know what is ASMR. Here a short definition about ASMR from urban dictionary.

Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response (ASMR) is a physical sensation charaterized by a pleasurable tingling that typically begins in the head and scalp, and often moves down the spine and through the limbs.

Exp : You feel relax when someone combs your hair or when listening to some noise/sounds.

tl:dr in malay - Korang tahu tak feeling bila korang pergi ke salon and bila dah start shampoo/massage rambut or kepala, korang rasa selesa dan mengantuk. Itulah perasaan yang kau rasa bila dengar/tengok ASMR.